There’s nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a masked ball

October 25th, 2007

There’s nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a masked ball. Drama, mystery, surprise and, of course, anonymity. Did you see me there? Of course you didn’t, LOL. Chances are you didn’t recognize a soul because everyone was hidden behind beautifully crafted masks. But for me, Gossip Girl, I saw it all. And trust me, it was a night full of bombshells, revelations and spectacle. Just the way I like it.

No one was more excited for the masked ball than Blair Waldorf. She had the whole night planned with her beloved boyfriend, Nate Archibald. Blair figured everything out. Throughout the night, Nate would get clues from different girls who would lead him to his special prize: the most royal of all highnesses, Blair. Tonight was the night. Blair was finally ready to do ‘it’ with Nate. But only if Nate got to her by midnight. Blair wanted her best friend, Serena van der Woodsen, to give Nate the final clue. Serena seemed hesitant. Did Blair really want her to be part of what was supposed to be the most romantic night of Blair and Nate’s life after all that’s gone on? Blair explained that the masked ball was a night for starting over. New beginnings. Blair wondered if Serena was going to bring Dan Humphrey to the masquerade. I mean, come on, they made out in the middle of a NYC street! He at least deserved an invite. Serena argued that Dan really doesn’t like balls and society things and anything that involves costumes. It’s totally not his scene. Blair told Serena Dan really likes her. He would go anywhere and wear anything if it meant he’d get to be with her. Serena blushed and decided to give it a shot and invite Dan.

Too bad she happened to call him at the worst imaginable time ever. Seems like Dan’s long lost best friend/former love of his life, Vanessa Abrams, had returned after spending a year in Hippietown, Vermont. When Serena called Dan and heard a female voice in the background, she asked Dan who it was. Instead of being a man and admitting the truth, Dan flat out lied and told Serena it was just his little sister, Jenny. And at that very minute who happened to enter Blair’s bedroom struggling to carry box upon box? Why, none other than Dan’s very own little sister, Jenny. The A train can’t get you to the Upper East Side that fast. Serena quickly hung up on Dan and told Blair she needed a date to the masked ball stat. Where were all the knights of Manhattan? There was a princess who needed to be rescued ASAP.

But getting a date for a girl like Serena is like tying your shoes: it takes 5 seconds and a child can do it. Serena scored a date with a senior from Dalton - captain of everything and straight up hot. Yum. When Dan found out about this, he quickly did what any normal guy would do: he rented a tux. He didn’t come this close to getting Serena to let her go now. Dan was going to win her back at the ball if it was the last thing he did. Got to give it to him. The boy from Brooklyn has perseverance.

Meanwhile, our very own Cinderella was in for a rude awakening. Jenny thought because of all her hard work helping Blair prepare for the ball, she’d possibly score an invite to the event. A jeweler even let her borrow a fancy diamond bracelet so she could show it off at the party. But poor, poor Jenny. Turns out even if you assist the queen of the ball with all her dirty work you still do not get to go to the party. Blair told Jenny the heartbreaking news. Freshmen don’t go to the masked ball. Sorry, it’s just the way it was. Jenny was crushed. She schlepped all over the city doing Blair’s errands and she got zip. Life was just so unfair. However, luckily for Jenny, her very special fairy godmother had just returned from a year long sabbatical. Sure, Vanessa hated all this society crap but she didn’t like seeing her best friend’s little sister so upset. Vanessa decided Jenny was going to the dance no matter what. And with the snap of a few fingers (and a trip to BAM for J’s outfit and some makeup sampling at Sephora), Jenny was transformed into a beautiful princess.

Vanessa led Jenny through a backdoor at the masked ball. Jenny thanked her fairy godmother for all her help and went off to have a good time. She surveyed the crowd and tried her best to hide from Blair. If Blair saw her she’d be dead. It didn’t take long for the one person Jenny never wanted to have contact with ever again approached her. Chuck Bass wandered up to her in his red tux and creepy looking mask. He may not have known who Jenny was behind her cover but she sure knew he was. No one shakes a hand quite like Chuck Bass. Thinking on her feet, Jenny decided it was time for revenge for what happened at the Kiss on the Lips party. Jenny flirted with Chuck and told him they were going to play a game of hide and seek. He’d hide. She’d seek. And she’d find him by the trail of clothes he would leave on the ground. Chuck thought he died and went straight to heaven. But we all know for a guy like Chuck, heaven is probably not an option. And boy was he in for a shock. Chuck waited in just his boxers and undershirt on the roof of the party. He was expecting some kind of action with his mystery girl. What he got was a huge surprise. As Jenny found him on the roof, she quickly snatched up all his clothes and locked the door behind her as she fled. Chuck was left trapped on the roof and half naked. Hope it doesn’t get too cold up there, C. Payback’s a bitch.

While Jenny snuck into the ball through the backdoor, her brother, Dan, snuck in through the front. Oh, you kids from Brooklyn and sneaking into places without invites. Luckily for the Humphreys both of them got into the ball and neither of them got caught (much more stealth than we give them credit for!). When Dan got to the dance floor he found Serena in a beautiful yellow dress, black furry wrap and, of course, a mask. She was dancing with her Dalton hottie and seemed to be enjoying herself. Dan marched right up to them and cut in. Serena was still mad at Dan. He told her the truth about Vanessa and apologized for lying. Serena took his apology and the two shared a very romantic kiss in the middle of the dance floor. BUT the romance was cut short when Dan looked over and saw his very good friend, Vanessa, watching them. She had come back to the dance to give Jenny her keys and was in complete and utter shock to see Dan not only at the ball but also kissing a hot blonde. Dan was supposed to be writing an American History paper (oh yeah did we forget to mention that? Dan had told Vanessa he couldn’t hang out with her that night because he had to write some dumb, made up paper. Didn’t know having your tongue down someone’s throat was an American history course - sign us up for that class!). Vanessa looked like she had been punched in the stomach as she started to run away. Dan chased after her. Not only did he lie to her about writing a paper but also what the hell was he doing at the ball? Dan hated this world as much as Vanessa. And then the truth was revealed: turns out right before Vanessa left for Vermont, Dan admitted he was in love with her. Dan told Vanessa that was the past. He loved her (ooh burn!). Things had changed. As Vanessa took off, Dan ran after her leaving Serena all alone.

Meanwhile, Nate was doing an awful job finding the clues that would lead him to Blair. He wasn’t even trying! Maybe that’s because he had other stuff on his mind. The Archibalds were having some issues. For starters, Nate’s trust fund had been drowned to zero a little while back. But a few days later it was quickly replenished. Nate’s dad, the Captain, said he was just ‘moving accounts around’. That seemed odd to Nate. And then, while Nate and Chuck were snooping around the Captain’s office, Nate found something he never thought he’d ever discover: cocaine. It all made sense. With Chuck and Blair both preoccupied, Nate reached out to the only person he thought would actually listen to him: Serena. Nate confided in Serena in her hotel suite. He told her about his family’s problems and Serena was there for him. Things got a bit awkward when Nate held onto Serena’s hand just a beat too long. Serena quickly rushed Nate away. Things could not go any further than this. They’re just friends. Unfortunately for Nate, though, it looked like he might still be hung up on the vivacious Serena van der Woodsen.

After witnessing Dan and Vanessa’s confrontation, Serena retreated to the bathroom. This had been the longest and most puzzling night ever. Jenny was in there too. She was throwing away Chuck’s clothes. Serena told Jenny about what happened with Dan and Vanessa. Jenny assured her Vanessa was just a friend and it’s Serena who Dan wants. He’d go anywhere if it meant he could be with her. Well, maybe not the Ice Capades because that totally freaked Dan out when he was five. Serena and Jenny decided to switch masks so Jenny could avoid being discovered by Chuck (if he were to get off the roof). Serena even gave Jenny the black furry wrap she was wearing. When Jenny left the bathroom she was grabbed by what looked like the Phantom of the Opera. It was actually Nate Archibald. In a case of mistaken identity, Nate whispered into Jenny’s ear and called her Serena. He told her he wasn’t over her. If she didn’t say anything, he would kiss her. Jenny, too surprised for words, let him kiss her but quickly hurried off. To Nate’s shock, he turned around and there was the actual Serena. If that wasn’t just Serena, then who exactly did he kiss and confess his feelings to?

As Jenny ran off, she was met by Blair who also thought she was Serena. Blair tried to stop her but Jenny wouldn’t slow down. Blair grabbed Jenny’s arm and accidentally ripped off the bracelet the jeweler had lent J. Blair looked down at the bracelet and knew exactly who that mystery girl was: little Jenny Humphrey. Nate finally found Blair but it was past midnight. The clock had already run out. Tonight was not going to be the night for Nate and Blair’s first time; leaving B going home alone and still holding onto her V-card.

And when things couldn’t get much worse for Nate, they did. Nate returned home after the dance and was greeted by his parents waiting for him. His mother had found the cocaine. It wasn’t hers. And it wasn’t the Captain’s. It had to be Nate’s. Nate was confused and shocked. His dad totally sold him out! Dan and Serena finally reconnected. Dan told Serena that he really, really likes her. And would do anything and go anywhere just to be with her. He’d even go to the Ice Capades and that’s a huge deal. The two kissed again on a crowded street. Enough with the PDA’s! Get a room! JK, we still think it’s endearing. The Princess and her Brooklyn Pauper.

In totally unrelated news, and it’s even kind of weird that I’m writing about it here since Gossip Girl doesn’t blog about old people, Eleanor Waldorf held a party at her penthouse. The theme was Morocco or something like that and it was to celebrate her Bendel’s line. Geez, these Waldorf women would celebrate anything and boy, do they love their themes. Serena’s mother, Lily van der Woodsen, brought Dan and Jenny’s dad, Rufus Humphrey, as her date (turns out they’re old friends or something like that). But Lily’s motive for bringing Rufus wasn’t all that innocent. The real reason she took him was to make her current lover Chuck Bass’ dad, Bart Bass, jealous. These parents are even more scandalous than their offspring! Seems like Bart can’t keep his eyes off 25 year old models. Rufus told Lily the only surefire way to make a man jealous was to show him what he’s missing. And with that Rufus grabbed Lily and gave her a big fat kiss in the middle on the room. Guess the Humphrey men love their kisses in public places. The kiss was actually pretty hot (for old people, of course). Rufus’ plan worked. Bart came running back to Lily and Rufus’ job was done.

The masquerade proved to be a night full of surprises. The biggest shock of the night was definitely Jenny’s Cinderella like transformation. Sure, her fairy godmother was a Brooklyn hipster and her horse and carriage was the A train but she even had her own version of the glass slipper: the diamond bracelet. What will Blair do now that she knows Jenny went behind her back and came to the dance? Can’t wait to see that altercation. Also, will Jenny remain loyal to Blair and tell her the truth about what Nate said to her? Or will she keep the secret and use it as ammunition? And speaking of Nate, is Blair going to forgive him for not finding her before midnight? I mean, he knew there was a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow and yet he hung around and didn’t do a thing. And how about Dan Humphrey? He was once a lonely dork from Brooklyn and now he has not one but two girls in his life! We hear Dan and Vanessa talked everything out and are totally cool now. But we all know nothing can go back to being completely normal, especially when feelings were once involved. Two’s company but three’s a crowd.

Spotted!

October 23rd, 2007

Spotted: Little J running up Madison. You could barely see her with all the bags she was carrying. Looks like B found her perfect little slave, I mean “handmaiden.” And speaking of B, she was seen at Completely Bare getting a “special wax.” Could B possibly be planning something with N? Hmm…S and little brother E walking down Park, eating hot dogs and drinking soda. How does that girl stay so skinny? Surprisingly, D was not with her. What’s going on with them? Are they official or not? No one seems to really know quite yet. Meanwhile, D was spotted at Verb Café in Brooklyn drinking coffee with an aging rocker looking guy. They looked like they were having an intense heart to heart. N and C were trying on tuxes at Saks. C bought a red one. Oh, how this boy’s devilish ways never cease to amaze us.

Long ago…

October 22nd, 2007

Long ago, when European royals grew bored of palace balls, they took a page from the peons, and added some pageantry. Couture and canapés are just another Saturday night… until you add a mask. This bit of Old World decadence flourished in New York. Palaces were replaced by The Plaza, and Truman Capote — the author of Blair’s beloved Breakfast at Tiffany’s — made the Bal Masque a New York institution. Now all this time later, the young people of NYC are still enjoying these masquerades. Our favorite resident party planner, Blair Waldorf, is getting ready for what will surely to be the ball of the year. With so much prepping to do, Blair has gained an extra set of hands: loveable freshman Jenny Humphrey. Jenny has been all over Manhattan running Blair’s errands; picking up everything from jewelry to dresses to undergarments (talk about commitment!). Oh, Jenny. What won’t you do to be accepted by Blair and her clique? Gossip Girl can’t wait for the ball! Because you know what the best part about a masquerade is? When the mask finally comes off… and the truth is revealed for all to see.

No one plans parties quite like Blair Waldorf

October 18th, 2007

And her annual sleepover is no exception. Every year Blair brings in the finest trundle beds for her guests to slumber on as well as mani/pedi spa chairs from Bliss and racks and racks of clothes from Intermix. This is a night to go down in history. It’s survival of the fittest for the young girls on the Upper East Side. Only the strong come out alive. Blair was expecting all her friends to be there. Unfortunately, Serena already had plans; with none other than our lovable hipster, Dan Humphrey. Dan had been planning their date for the past week. He even took all the change from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles piggy bank to Coinstar to cash it in (wow, can you say dorkage?). Dan wanted this date to be perfect. I mean, hello, he’s taking Serena van der Woodsen out! She’s the queen of the Upper East Side. The girl has dated guys twice Dan’s size, twice his age and two million times his net worth. Dan had to make this the best night of Serena’s life or else she would be gone forever and he’d go on being an anonymous virgin from Brooklyn. With Serena not attending the sleepover, there was an extra trundle bed that needed an occupant. Seems like little Jenny Humphrey was in the right place at the right time. Blair offered her the coveted spot and Jenny could hardly contain her excitement. OMG! Blair’s sleepover party! Jenny had heard about this magical night but never imagined she could ever actually experience it. Oh, sweet little Jenny, you have so much to learn. Blair’s party will definitely NOT just be eating Oreos, playing Dreamdate and making prank calls. Good luck, J. You’re so gonna need it.

Jenny arrived at the party carrying her sleeping bag (so embarrassing!). Blair greeted her and the games begun. First order of business: makeover! Jenny dressed like she was straight out of a Disney channel show. Blair offered her an Eleanor original to wear and a martini to sip. Jenny was happy to take the dress but hesitated drinking the martini. Blair told her if she didn’t swallow it she’d be on the first train back to Brooklyn. Jenny obliged. She didn’t get this far to turn back and go home now.

Meanwhile, Dan took Serena to a really fancy restaurant for their date. The restaurant was so expensive they didn’t even have the prices on the menu (this is normal for girls like Serena but definitely not normal for guys like Dan). Seems like both Humphreys were in way over their heads tonight. After Dan tried to get a good game of “mistress or second wife” going, Serena admitted this really wasn’t her scene. She wanted a date with Dan, not the date he thought she wanted. Relieved, Dan led Serena out of the restaurant and they were on their way to the date they were meant to go on.

Over at the sleepover, the night didn’t fully pick up until the girls played the ultimate sleepover game: truth or dare. And when these girls play truth or dare they play truth or dare. Kati and Isabel were dared to kiss each other and they did! Jenny hadn’t seen that much girl on girl action since she accidentally ordered What Girls Really Want on pay per view instead of the Amanda Bynes’ movie What a Girl Wants. There’s a huuuuge difference! Jenny was relieved when she got a text message from Eric van der Woodsen. But Blair quickly grabbed the phone out of her hand and read it. It was a picture text of Eric screaming and the message: “SOS! Still in prison!” Turns out, Eric was supposed to get released from the Ostroff Center that day but his mom thought he needed a little more time there (ugh, the kid’s been there so long he’s probably turned into Jello by now). Blair decided to take truth or dare to a whole new level and dared Jenny to break Eric out of the center. And what did our well-behaved a capella singer do? She accepted the dare and went straight from JV to Varsity.

While Jenny went into Eric’s room to rescue him, Blair distracted the nurses by pretending she was a mental patient who was hopped on god only knows what meds. When the nurse left to go get Blair immediate help, the three fled from the center. Mission accomplished. They met the rest of the sleepover guests at a club downtown. Now, it was Blair’s turn for truth or dare. Jenny dared her to make out with one of members of the Hedgefund mafia who was hanging at the club. And she had to mean it. Too easy. Blair smiled as she went over to one of the Hotshots. She grabbed him and kissed the Hotshot in front of everyone to see (love Blair’s audacity!). One of his friends said hopefully the Hotshot’s girlfriend, Amanda, would never find out about this. Blair rolled her eyes and called the guy a pig. Worst boyfriend ever. As Blair walked back to her friends, she showed them she had swiped the Hotshot’s phone. Blair handed it to Jenny and dared her to call the girlfriend, Amanda, and explain to her what exactly her wonderful boyfriend just did. Jenny accepted the challenge and dialed. She told Amanda her name was Bl…Claire and she just had her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat. Just thought she should know.

Over at a dive bar, Dan and Serena were having the best date ever. Never thought we’d see Serena van der Woodsen in a bar that served peanuts and prided itself on having PBR on tap. Oh, how times change. Dan and Serena played pool and picked songs out on the jukebox (Serena paid since Dan had cashed in all his quarters). It seemed like everything was going well. They even got really close to one another and it looked like they were going in to, ahhhh, kiss when suddenly Dan’s cell phone started vibrating in his pants. Or what I hope was his cell phone. Dan answered the call and it was his dad, Rufus. What a mood killer. Rufus told Dan that Serena left her phone at the Palace and her mother was furiously looking to get a hold of her. Eric had disappeared from the Ostroff Center. Serena became worried and had to find out where her brother had gone. Guess you’ll have to wait just a little longer for that kiss, Dan. Hope you’re not too blue down there.

The girls were having an awesome time dancing in the club. Even Eric was enjoying himself. Everything was going great. That is until Amanda, the Hotshot’s girlfriend, showed up. And boy was she irate. As Amanda and the Hotshot approached the girls, Dan and Serena showed up. They tried to intervene, but Amanda looked like she was going to rip Blair’s head off. Jenny stepped up and admitted she had actually called Amanda. Dan was shocked to see his sister was not only stooping to dumb teenage girl games at a club but also dressed like that! In public! Amanda and the Hotshot were livid. Who were they dealing with here? Children? Dan told them they actually are only children. Jenny is fourteen! The Hotshot called Jenny jailbait and that really put Dan over the edge. As Dan lunged at the Hotshot, the Hotshot shoved Dan into a bouncer. The kids were kicked out of the club. The game was over.

Serena was furious that not only did her little brother escape from the rehab center but her best friend helped him! Blair apologized and said she was just trying to make it up to him after the whole rehab outing at the Ivy Week Mixer. Eric told Serena he left on his own freewill. All he wanted was to get out; be with people besides doctors, nurses, and their mom. Serena couldn’t argue with that. Dan was upset too. Jenny was too smart and too nice to get mixed up in charades like this. Jenny pleaded she knows who she is and isn’t going to change for these girls. She’ll never forget where she came from. Dan softened and let Jenny go back with Blair and the girls. Dan offered to walk Serena and Eric back to the Ostroff Center. I’m sure Dan didn’t expect to be ending the night with Serena’s little brother in tow. But of course, tonight didn’t turn out to be exactly what he had planned.

On their way back to the Upper East Side, Blair told Jenny there was just one more thing she had to pull off: go into Eleanor Waldorf’s boutique and steal a jacket. It was the last thing she had to do to prove she had what it takes to hang with the elite. Blair handed Jenny the keys and watched as she entered the store. As Jenny started to take the jacket off the mannequin, Blair began to countdown. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. RING. RING. The alarms went off and Blair and the girls fled, leaving Jenny trapped in the store with nowhere to hide. Busted. But you can never discount Jenny Humphrey. The girl is smarter than she leads on. When the cops showed up, Jenny told them she was Blair Waldorf and was just getting a coat she left behind in her mother’s store. Her mother would be so disappointed in her if she knew she had forgotten it in there. Eleanor hates absent mindedness. Jenny said she had her own set of keys so the cop could watch her close up the boutique himself. When Jenny showed up back at the Waldorf penthouse wearing the jacket and not in handcuffs or an orange jumpsuit, Blair was in utter shock. Well played, little J. Jenny threw the keys over to Blair, told her she was taking the jacket and was heading back home to Brooklyn. She will see Blair on Monday on the steps of the Met for lunch. Blair nodded. Too impressed for words.

And finally it happened. Something we were waiting for quite some time. Serena and Dan kissed. The couple (omg can we call them that now??) shared a very romantic first kiss in the middle of a New York City street. And it was actually pretty hot (maybe I need to find a guy from Brooklyn…wait, what am I saying, no Gossip Girl, bad thoughts!) Dan and Serena had sexual chemistry, which has been heating up for weeks now. Sure, this isn’t the first time Serena van der Woodsen was seen kissing someone on the street. But this time she’s definitely going to remember it. It looked like she was actually enjoying it too. It’s crazy how things turn out. One year ago Serena was running wild; dancing on bars and making boys cry. And now it seems like her focus is on just one guy. Serena van der Woodsen: monogamous?? And Dan Humphrey? One year ago this kid had never even talked to a girl, let alone kissed one on a crowded street in front of hundreds of passerbyers. Just goes to show you that miracles can happen, especially in the greatest city in the world. All you need is love.